[He should maybe be a bit more careful when dropping a bomb like this. Sure, he's been bullied for his tastes in the past, but at home he's so isolated, social networking aside, that it isn't really much of an issue anymore; it's something he discards in favor of simply pursuing his interests. And while he has no problem with being a boy, differentiating between genders has never been a priority of his. So the idea that Eren might prefer one gender over the other doesn't occur to him; and the idea that this might really bother Eren doesn't, either.]
[Eren's face is a complete wall of confusion. He doesn't even piece together where this could possibly be going. After all, where he comes from, he's never heard of a boy who dressed as a girl on an every day basis. Boys didn't wear skirts. Not every girl wore skirts but if a skirt was going to get worn it was going to be by a girl. That's the world Eren knew so...So he just stares at Rui, brows furrowed together.]
[Okay so like ten minutes pass. Then there's Eren again and he looks- he looks mortified.]
What the fuck Rui? Why wouldn't you- I've called you a girl several- why wouldn't- don't you think that's a little bit relevant to our God damn- I don't know- relationship?!
[INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD, ALL RIGHT? Why do you think he literally made his best friend?????]
I just... I didn't... think to. I didn't think it mattered? [Because now it's very obvious that it does matter, but he doesn't quite understand the importance of it all.] I mean... I do it because I think it's nice. And then you thought it was nice too, which was... even nicer. And whenever you'd call me a girl, I didn't think to say anything because I didn't think it was all that important. I mean, even if I was a girl, I'd be the exact same person. So I thought it was fine.
[Hesitant again,] I didn't mean to... do anything wrong. Or to do anything that would upset you. I like you. I didn't think it would...
[WELL YEAH WHY DO YOU THINK EREN ONLY HAS LIKE TWO FRIENDS FROM HOME AND ONE DOESN'T EVEN COUNT CAUSE SHE'S HIS SISTER omfg Rui
Eren slowly stares up at the camera and watches Rui talk. He can see it now, he realizes. She- no- he isn't quite soft enough to be a boy. Almost. But not there entirely. Especially without the wig it's more clear to Eren.
He feels like such a moron. He slides a hand through his own hair, listening to Rui.
Rui wasn't....Eren's face softened somewhat. Rui wasn't keeping this from him to keep it from him.
He just didn't tell Eren because he didn't think to.
To Eren, that was a pretty massive difference and he slowly bobbed his head.]
Okay. Um. I'm sorry for getting mad.
[The apology is a little gruff but Eren's not good at that sort of thing. He swallows hard.]
I thought...I thought maybe you were just keeping it from me or something. Listen, Rui, I don't know what it's like where you're from but you gotta realize I come from a time a lot unlike yours. We don't even- I've never heard of a guy wearing girls clothes before. Ever. It's just a little shocking. A-And there kind of are some um- important differences between being a guy and a girl, aren't there? I mean, at least differences that'll be relevant in a relationship later on...
[He's talking about sex. His heart clenches up a bit painfully because Rui likes him. Rui's a guy- who knew Eren was a guy- and he likes Eren. Eren frowns, looking mildly concerned. When he speaks up, his voice sounds no different than a five year old asking why fire hurts.]
Crossdressing is a practice that dates back thousands of years and has been present in several cultures through the involvement of mythology, historical figures, and theater. Some have done it for work, for espionage, and for personal enjoyment. Due to [completely ridiculous] societal gender constraints, women passing themselves off as male have been more common throughout history, but male actors dressing as women were a prominent part of historical theater, and there have been plenty of men throughout history and lore who...
Sorry. When I was younger, I was called weird for it, so I read about other people who did the same thing. I don't know. Sure, there are significant differences, but...
[Rui's lecture only serves to embarrass Eren. His cheeks flush and he withdraws somewhat because...well.]
I- My family and I lived in the outermost wall a-and we...We never had the luxury of going to the theater or the time to. Th-then the titans...and...theater was the last thing on my mind.
[His tone's a little sharp. Defensive himself maybe but he just didn't know. It wasn't his fault, as far as he was concerned.]
A-and besides those are people who do it temporarily. I don't know what you mean by gender constraints- what's the difference between girls and boys? I mean- besides girls being able to be moms and all...
[He deflates again.]
I didn't mean to say you're weird or anything. It's just surprising when you've found out this whole time...
I don't know. I wasn't- no. [His nose wrinkles up a bit at the mention of religion.] No. People like that are barely ...No. I wasn't sure is all. I've never-.
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You think I'm a girl, right?
[He should maybe be a bit more careful when dropping a bomb like this. Sure, he's been bullied for his tastes in the past, but at home he's so isolated, social networking aside, that it isn't really much of an issue anymore; it's something he discards in favor of simply pursuing his interests. And while he has no problem with being a boy, differentiating between genders has never been a priority of his. So the idea that Eren might prefer one gender over the other doesn't occur to him; and the idea that this might really bother Eren doesn't, either.]
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[Eren's face is a complete wall of confusion. He doesn't even piece together where this could possibly be going. After all, where he comes from, he's never heard of a boy who dressed as a girl on an every day basis. Boys didn't wear skirts. Not every girl wore skirts but if a skirt was going to get worn it was going to be by a girl. That's the world Eren knew so...So he just stares at Rui, brows furrowed together.]
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[It's starting to dawn on him. Cue the panic.]
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[Oh my fucking God.]
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You wear panties though!!!
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[Oh. My. Fucking. God.]
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What the fuck Rui? Why wouldn't you- I've called you a girl several- why wouldn't- don't you think that's a little bit relevant to our God damn- I don't know- relationship?!
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No wonder he was making fun of me. Shit. I am a fucking idiot. Oh my God.
[.................................
.............]
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So...you...
have a dick.
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I'm sorry? [he says smally, hesitantly.]
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Why didn't you tell me sooner?
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I just... I didn't... think to. I didn't think it mattered? [Because now it's very obvious that it does matter, but he doesn't quite understand the importance of it all.] I mean... I do it because I think it's nice. And then you thought it was nice too, which was... even nicer. And whenever you'd call me a girl, I didn't think to say anything because I didn't think it was all that important. I mean, even if I was a girl, I'd be the exact same person. So I thought it was fine.
[Hesitant again,] I didn't mean to... do anything wrong. Or to do anything that would upset you. I like you. I didn't think it would...
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Eren slowly stares up at the camera and watches Rui talk. He can see it now, he realizes. She- no- he isn't quite soft enough to be a boy. Almost. But not there entirely. Especially without the wig it's more clear to Eren.
He feels like such a moron. He slides a hand through his own hair, listening to Rui.
Rui wasn't....Eren's face softened somewhat. Rui wasn't keeping this from him to keep it from him.
He just didn't tell Eren because he didn't think to.
To Eren, that was a pretty massive difference and he slowly bobbed his head.]
Okay. Um. I'm sorry for getting mad.
[The apology is a little gruff but Eren's not good at that sort of thing. He swallows hard.]
I thought...I thought maybe you were just keeping it from me or something. Listen, Rui, I don't know what it's like where you're from but you gotta realize I come from a time a lot unlike yours. We don't even- I've never heard of a guy wearing girls clothes before. Ever. It's just a little shocking. A-And there kind of are some um- important differences between being a guy and a girl, aren't there? I mean, at least differences that'll be relevant in a relationship later on...
[He's talking about sex. His heart clenches up a bit painfully because Rui likes him. Rui's a guy- who knew Eren was a guy- and he likes Eren. Eren frowns, looking mildly concerned. When he speaks up, his voice sounds no different than a five year old asking why fire hurts.]
Can two guys even be together?
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Sorry. When I was younger, I was called weird for it, so I read about other people who did the same thing. I don't know. Sure, there are significant differences, but...
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I- My family and I lived in the outermost wall a-and we...We never had the luxury of going to the theater or the time to. Th-then the titans...and...theater was the last thing on my mind.
[His tone's a little sharp. Defensive himself maybe but he just didn't know. It wasn't his fault, as far as he was concerned.]
A-and besides those are people who do it temporarily. I don't know what you mean by gender constraints- what's the difference between girls and boys? I mean- besides girls being able to be moms and all...
[He deflates again.]
I didn't mean to say you're weird or anything. It's just surprising when you've found out this whole time...
I don't know. I wasn't- no. [His nose wrinkles up a bit at the mention of religion.] No. People like that are barely ...No. I wasn't sure is all. I've never-.
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